Every Family Has its Issues

24 Feb

Caring for our aging loved ones can be difficult enough. But what if your relationship with an elderly parent is less than loving?

My mother in 1948, the year she met my father. So young, so beautiful, and full of hope for the future.

My mother in 1948, the year she met my father. So young, so beautiful, and full of hope for the future. She brought 50 pairs of high heeled shoes with her to  the retirement home. After I had them removed (upon doctor’s orders)she threatened to have me arrested.

I have written about my uncle and how special he was to me. I can honestly say the time I spent with him in his final years was done out of love and devotion. Unfortunately, when it comes to my mother, the support I provide is done so purely out of a sense of duty. I’m not going into the details, but our relationship has been strained for many years.  Still, she’s my mother, she’s alone, and she’s not well. And I suspect the situation is about to get more challenging.

My mother and I in 1962, a time in my life when she could do no wrong.

My mother and I in 1962, a time in my life when she could do no wrong.

 

Much of what ails my mother is related to aging.  She’s 80 years old, in poor health and failing fast. But she’s also difficult. And she’s in denial, both about her health and the reasons why her relationships with her adult children are fractured.   She doesn’t make it easy, but three years ago I was able to convince her to sell her condo and move to a retirement home.  Now, her doctors and her children believe she should be in a nursing home. But getting her moved into one is a challenge in itself, one that has been ongoing for 18 months. At least that’s how long my mother has been on the waiting list for a bed in any of the four facilities she was willing to consider.

Enhanced by Zemanta
Advertisements

2 Responses to “Every Family Has its Issues”

  1. kimjoy24 March 5, 2013 at 7:00 pm #

    I completely understand where you are coming from. I was a caregiver for my mother last year as she battled colon cancer and it was an extremely difficult, stressful experience. She is very stubborn and used to being the “boss” and she continued to treat me as a child even as I was caring for her.

    I think often it is seen as inappropriate to say anything bad about a loved one who is ill, but caregivers have to care for themselves as well. Thanks for being honest about your experience.Best of luck to you and your family.

    • dementiadeli March 5, 2013 at 11:18 pm #

      Kimjoy24, thank you for checking out my blog and for your kind words. You are so right. Care givers have to care for themselves as well.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

JVS Career Voice

Our experts share career and employment advice

My Neighbor Miss D

“When are you taking me home?“

thesolomonconnection

A topnotch WordPress.com site

ParliamentCouture

Style, Spectacle and Performance on Canada's Political Stage

Living with Dementia

Diary from a 20 something caring for her nan

CYBJECT

"And whatever harm those do who slander the world, the harm done by the good is the most harmful harm." - Zarathustra

ann ahnemouse

Just another WordPress.com site. (c) 2011-2013 Ann Ahnemouse

On Crawford St.

Aging Issues and Navigating Eldercare from the inside of the Sandwich

Melanie Simons

Marketing Communications and Project Management

Design Destination:

a blog about contemporary design

Shared Voices

Exploring people, places and things related to AAC (Augmentative and Alternative Communication)

Gluten-Free Gluttony

Eating gluten-free has never been this gluttonous

Random Relevance

Because I Want to Blog About Any & Everything

mygijourney

The rise of a health nut

CYBJECT

Aging Issues and Navigating Eldercare from the inside of the Sandwich

A Two-Way Street

Student Communications in the 21st Century

%d bloggers like this: