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Have You Had the Talk?

20 Aug

The best time to talk to the older people in your life about end of life matters is when they are still able to make decisions for themselves.

If the elderly people in your life haven’t had “the talk” with you and aren’t likely to do so, then you need to have the talk with them. And it’s best to do it sooner than later.  Believe me, carrying out a person’s wishes is much easier than having to decide for them.

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A Unique Sandwich Generation Conflict: Nursing Home or Private School Tour

10 Apr

Is this the Ultimate Midlife-Parenthood, Sandwich Generation Dilemma?

The  all-too-frequent question of whether to send the children to public school or private school  is often a major issue in many households.  But midlife-first-time parents are just as likely to be debating whether they have time for a private school tour or a nursing home tour.  That’s the dilemma I’m currently facing.  I just learned  that tours of a long term care home which might be suitable for my mother are only held on the same day and time this week as a tour I am supposed to take of a potential school for my son.

So which would you choose — nursing home tour for elderly parent or private school tour for a young child with learning differences?

Pre-Schoolers and Old People

20 Mar

I have spent the better part of the last five years dealing with the world of dementia and elder care. And when I started down this path, it was with a pre-school-age child in tow. Before my uncle and my mother became ill, I would have thought there could not be any two more disparate groups of individuals than young children and seniors with dementia. I was so wrong. Little kids and people with dementia actually have a lot in common. Neither are burdened by inhibition or complex thought processes. And while both are prone to tantrums and frustration, it can take very little to get a smile out of either.
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Tales from the Fresh Side of the Sandwich: March Break

13 Mar

Winter breaks are probably wonderful for teachers and teenagers, but before the invention of March Break camps, I don’t think many mothers were singing the praises of this mid-winter week off school.

In my case, I like veering from routine and getting some extra, not-so-rushed  time with my son. But I might need a break by the time my little guy goes back to school on Monday.  At the very least I’m going to need a contractor and possibly an exterminator.

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“The Sandwich Generation” – A Preview

3 Mar

This video brings up a number of emotions for me. Watch it and let me know your thoughts.

 

Every family is different and we all have our own ways of tackling life’s challenges. I could not imagine bringing either of my old people home to live with my child and I. But that’s me. Would you uproot your children and move half-way across the country for your family?  How would you feel about having your home of 40 years emptied out before your eyes? Is this family better or worse off for having Harry move in with them?

Every Family Has its Issues

24 Feb

Caring for our aging loved ones can be difficult enough. But what if your relationship with an elderly parent is less than loving?

My mother in 1948, the year she met my father. So young, so beautiful, and full of hope for the future.

My mother in 1948, the year she met my father. So young, so beautiful, and full of hope for the future. She brought 50 pairs of high heeled shoes with her to  the retirement home. After I had them removed (upon doctor’s orders)she threatened to have me arrested.

I have written about my uncle and how special he was to me. I can honestly say the time I spent with him in his final years was done out of love and devotion. Unfortunately, when it comes to my mother, the support I provide is done so purely out of a sense of duty. I’m not going into the details, but our relationship has been strained for many years.  Still, she’s my mother, she’s alone, and she’s not well. And I suspect the situation is about to get more challenging.

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