Tag Archives: late motherhood

A Unique Sandwich Generation Conflict: Nursing Home or Private School Tour

10 Apr

Is this the Ultimate Midlife-Parenthood, Sandwich Generation Dilemma?

The  all-too-frequent question of whether to send the children to public school or private school  is often a major issue in many households.  But midlife-first-time parents are just as likely to be debating whether they have time for a private school tour or a nursing home tour.  That’s the dilemma I’m currently facing.  I just learned  that tours of a long term care home which might be suitable for my mother are only held on the same day and time this week as a tour I am supposed to take of a potential school for my son.

So which would you choose — nursing home tour for elderly parent or private school tour for a young child with learning differences?

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Fresh Side Friday — Love Notes from a Seven Year Old.

19 Apr

Before I head off to do battle on behalf of the older side of the sandwich to which I am the meat in the middle, I did want to add something for this Fresh Side Friday.

M. loves his mom2

Some might think it’s hard to parent such a young child on my own while dealing with the needs of aging family members. I think my arrival at parenthood so late in life is a blessing. And I’m grateful for having a seven-year-old rather than a teenager right now. My son is indeed a  handful of silliness and potty talk, but I’ll gladly take his poop tales over my mother’s. And I will happily take notes like this over teenage angst any day.

Tales from the Fresh Side of the Sandwich: A Very Good Friday

29 Mar

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Yesterday was devoted to death and taxes. Today was about fun with the son. We went to the park, rode bikes, and I even helped him build a 3D dinosaur.

Balancing Work, Childcare, & Eldercare, A New Study on Canada’s Current Sandwich Generation

27 Mar

I am a boomer. Albeit a late-end boomer, but a boomer still.  Advances in birth control gave us the ability to delay marriage and children. And we established greater than ever participation (62% as per the 2006 Canada Census) of women in the workforce.  We’re living longer than ever and so are our parents. The result is an increasing number of Canadians simultaneously caring for young children and elderly relatives while holding down full-time jobs.

We are the sandwich generation. Ours is a world of trying to balance paid work, parenting, and caring for chronically ill parents. We’re almost always tired. We’re prone to being cranky. If able to hold down a job too, we’re prone to making mistakes and more likely than our colleagues to turn down promotions. Those who can swing it financially are leaving their jobs, draining the workforce of highly educated, experienced professionals. But we are stretched already.  And when we start hitting our 80s, someone is going to have to take care of us. Continue reading

When Sandwich Layers Collide

5 Mar

Last Tuesday, I was fielding phone calls from the staff at my mother’s retirement home while ensconced in my child’s paediatrician’s waiting room.  That day alone, I handled a dozen phone calls relating to an appointment my mother  was to have with her kidney specialist.  The calls included one that was  taken while I was in the dentist’s chair and my seven-year-old son was whipping styrofoam airplanes over the heads of the hygienist and myself.  My worlds were clearly colliding and I wasn’t surprised when the dental hygienist said I look like I can use a vacation. Ah, if only that glider could have whisked me off to an all expenses paid week at an adults-only spa 🙂

View from the Other Side

26 Feb

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This is the other side of the divide; the joy that comes from a life just beginning. For me, late motherhood is about so much more than juggling requests for depends, and doctors’ appointments. It’s also about early morning practices and driving to ice rinks at the opposite end of the city.
Continue reading

Visiting Bubbie

11 Feb

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It doesn’t take much to get my son to visit his grandmother at the retirement home where she has been living since 2010. The place is akin to a fine five star hotel and boasts an indoor pool, hot tub, and freshed baked cookies every afternoon.

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When she moved in, her monthly rent was $3600. Now up at $4500, most of this is for services and programs including two meals a day and weekly housekeeping. Sadly, my mother is too ill to use most of the fabulous amenities herself. She’s not alone, on a Saturday afternoon, the bingo room is packed while the gym is empty.

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